Emotional

Well I have been remiss the last couple of weeks about posting here.  It seems life gets busy this time of year.  this last week has been an extremely emotional week for me.  I seem to have struggled every day to "keep" my composer.  Everything seemed to upset me. It does not help that it is that time that every emotion is on steroids and the control button is broke.   I have had so many things running through my head that I wanted to blog here but by time I get home from work help with dinner, play with the daughter, get to bed... I am passing out on the couch myself with not a coherent thought in my head.  Somedays I wonder how I could manufacture some more time.  I don't feel unorganized just to much to do.  Of course I bring it on myself most of the time.  I get these ideas of things I want to do and I get started on a new project with out finishing the hundred other things I want to get done.  I used to laugh at old boss I had and dubbed it the bright shiny object theory.  Now I am living it.  Oh well is to late to call it baby brain?

The emotions I feel when I become hypersensitive are so strong that sometimes I think to myself " who is this person".  But it is not just the emotions in my life that become hypersensitive it is EVERYTHING!  Everything becomes the largest mountain and completely unbearable.  I know that these things irritate me everyday but normally I am able to look past it.

I was doing well to control these hypersensitive times but the last few months they have escalated again to the point of making my days extremely draining.  While they usually last a few days, of late they have been here for a week or more.

As sit here today after on of the worst weeks I have had in recent memory I wonder how I can stem the tide of tears.  I know that in a day or two it will be over and life will resume to the normal.  But I am exhausted from the fight.  I could sleep for days....

I know that most don't understand what or why.  I don't have the energy to explain it anymore.  I have to wonder what the relief will be for me.