What is Hunger? Really

I am not sure I have ever felt true hunger... At least in the food department.  I am not sure that I have ever allowed myself to be truly hungry.  How does one recognize hunger?  I am not sure I know.  For years I have been slaved to the clock for meals.  Breakfast by 8, Lunch by Noon and Dinner by 6.  A snack here and there when I felt the need for it.  A need is rarely hunger, more often it is cause of stress, sadness, happiness, or maybe sleep depravation.

As I have looked back over the last 41 years I can not think of a time that I have "felt" hunger.  I know I have said I am hungry many times but as I think about it the always has come from my head never my stomach... Somedays I go hours with out eating only to get light in the head and feel like I am going to pass out.  Is that hunger?

As part of my journey I have been learning to be mindful when I eat.  I have been trying to listen to my body when it tells me it needs food (before the passing out part).  It has been very difficult to determine if I am really hungry because my body needs nourishment or because my head says it is time to eat.  I wonder if my stomach should be grumbly.  Am I just thirsty?  I have not listened to my bodies needs for so long I wonder if it has stopped speaking to me about it.

As I sit here to night on the eve of m y 4th day of my journey I am very mindful of how my body feels at this moment.  Content.  I have a plethora of energy.  I have no cravings (except for my coffee goodness, which by the way, I have had to have a cup or two to manage the severe headaches).  Even though I can sit here now and be mindful I have struggled today with hunger.  Although I did not eat by the clock today (a huge step)  I did find myself reaching a point where I was wanting to snack.  Is this hunger?  Those are dangerous times for me because I will graze till the cows come home (no pun intended here).

This morning I was getting Sofia here morning bowl of dry cherrios and I caught myself putting some in mouth.  Not being mindful.  Later I was making her lunch and I caught myself testing her baked potatoes.  not being mindful.  Putting food in my mouth is so automatic that I am sure I have not known half the stuff I have eaten.  I was not hungry when I mindlessly put those things in my mouth.

I will continue my journey ... I will walk the path toward being mindful about food.  I will continue to seek the feeling of true hunger.