Well it has been a little over two months since I (well we really since the family is also going with me) started this journey. I feel so much better then I have in years. I weigh less then I did when Sofia was born. I am starting to get back the range of motion that I had lost in the last few years. I have let go of 30+ pounds in the last two months. The journey has been surprisingly easy. There have been a few emotional bumps in the road. The bumps are not unexpected considering that I eat emotionally and usually use sugar and carbohydrates to feed the emotional black hole. It has been interesting learning how to refrain from mindless eating. To learn to eat when I am hungry and stop when I am full. Do I always meet this expectation ... Well no but I do stop myself and recognize when I am eating mindlessly.
The last two months have been wrought with stress in life and work. I am totally surprised at the fact that I have not wavered from my journey. I have continued to read and learn for this journey. As I started this journey for the umpteenth time I knew that I had to find a way of eating that resonated with my on a deep level. I started 2 months ago on the low carb routine. I knew that in the past it had allowed me to lose weight quickly. I also knew that it was very difficult for my to stay on for an extended period of time. I also knew that I had to get and keep my blood sugar low. Eliminating carbs is the only way I know to lower the blood sugar levels. Just about everything you read about weight loss comes back to controlling your blood sugar. On my road to healthy living I stumbled across something that really makes sense to me. Primal Blueprint is a way of life that supports health. While we had been eating low carb for a month when I found the Primal way of life it still has taken some time to transition to a full on Primal life. We still have not gotten the Primal Exercise part down yet.
Here is what I have found: It is very easy to stick with. I feel great and lose weight effortlessly. The mind fog is gone. I have tons of energy. In other words I love this new life. I feel confident for the first time in my life that I will be able to get to my goal weight and stay there.
Going Primal has been the best thing I have ever done for myself and my family. I have my fasting blood sugar under 95 on average and my 2 hour blood sugar in the low 80's. Don't get me wrong, my blood sugar was never too high, my fasting blood sugar was 110 and 2 hour was in the high 90's. But as you can see the numbers were in the pre-diabetic range. These higher sugar levels also slow weight loss and cause a raise in triglycerides. I go in next week for a full blood panel to see how everything else is doing.
and the journey continues...
Friday, November 12, 2010
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Emotional
Well I have been remiss the last couple of weeks about posting here. It seems life gets busy this time of year. this last week has been an extremely emotional week for me. I seem to have struggled every day to "keep" my composer. Everything seemed to upset me. It does not help that it is that time that every emotion is on steroids and the control button is broke. I have had so many things running through my head that I wanted to blog here but by time I get home from work help with dinner, play with the daughter, get to bed... I am passing out on the couch myself with not a coherent thought in my head. Somedays I wonder how I could manufacture some more time. I don't feel unorganized just to much to do. Of course I bring it on myself most of the time. I get these ideas of things I want to do and I get started on a new project with out finishing the hundred other things I want to get done. I used to laugh at old boss I had and dubbed it the bright shiny object theory. Now I am living it. Oh well is to late to call it baby brain?
The emotions I feel when I become hypersensitive are so strong that sometimes I think to myself " who is this person". But it is not just the emotions in my life that become hypersensitive it is EVERYTHING! Everything becomes the largest mountain and completely unbearable. I know that these things irritate me everyday but normally I am able to look past it.
I was doing well to control these hypersensitive times but the last few months they have escalated again to the point of making my days extremely draining. While they usually last a few days, of late they have been here for a week or more.
As sit here today after on of the worst weeks I have had in recent memory I wonder how I can stem the tide of tears. I know that in a day or two it will be over and life will resume to the normal. But I am exhausted from the fight. I could sleep for days....
I know that most don't understand what or why. I don't have the energy to explain it anymore. I have to wonder what the relief will be for me.
The emotions I feel when I become hypersensitive are so strong that sometimes I think to myself " who is this person". But it is not just the emotions in my life that become hypersensitive it is EVERYTHING! Everything becomes the largest mountain and completely unbearable. I know that these things irritate me everyday but normally I am able to look past it.
I was doing well to control these hypersensitive times but the last few months they have escalated again to the point of making my days extremely draining. While they usually last a few days, of late they have been here for a week or more.
As sit here today after on of the worst weeks I have had in recent memory I wonder how I can stem the tide of tears. I know that in a day or two it will be over and life will resume to the normal. But I am exhausted from the fight. I could sleep for days....
I know that most don't understand what or why. I don't have the energy to explain it anymore. I have to wonder what the relief will be for me.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Stalling
So here I sit almost 2 months into my journey... and I have stalled. I am not sure why. I have been very careful with my eating. A little lax on my water drinking but still drinking water. I have been drinking a little more coffee then I should. I have been under much more stress the last two weeks. Stalling is the most frustrating thing to work through. In walks the emotional side of eating better.
That little devil sits on my shoulder whispering to me... Go ahead eat the donut, cookie, sandwich, blah blah blah, What have you got to lose... Your not losing now so what difference will it make? You have to hear him... He is relentless. It takes every ounce of strength I have to resist. I ask my self why are you resisting. Why do I have to resist something? Is there something wrong with me? I know I am not hungry when I "crave" something that is not on my eating plan. I have managed to stay on plan very well but the internal struggle continues and I get cranky. My head hurts and all I want to so is sleep.
My head knows that I just have to keep going. I wish that little devil would shut up for a while. He seems to prey on my mind when I am tired and stressed. He knows every button to press and he usually wins. Not this time... Not this time... Not this time... I will keep eating the right foods and doing the right things.
That little devil sits on my shoulder whispering to me... Go ahead eat the donut, cookie, sandwich, blah blah blah, What have you got to lose... Your not losing now so what difference will it make? You have to hear him... He is relentless. It takes every ounce of strength I have to resist. I ask my self why are you resisting. Why do I have to resist something? Is there something wrong with me? I know I am not hungry when I "crave" something that is not on my eating plan. I have managed to stay on plan very well but the internal struggle continues and I get cranky. My head hurts and all I want to so is sleep.
My head knows that I just have to keep going. I wish that little devil would shut up for a while. He seems to prey on my mind when I am tired and stressed. He knows every button to press and he usually wins. Not this time... Not this time... Not this time... I will keep eating the right foods and doing the right things.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
The Food Supply... A RANT!
At the beginning of this journey I ranted about the cost of fresh food over processed food. Here I am a little over a month into this journey and I am still appalled at the high cost of Fresh, Unfettered, food! I still boggles my mind why fresh food that is taken to a factory, processed, filled with chemicals and canned cost WAY less then the food that is picked and sent to market. Take Green Beans for instance.... A 14 oz can of Green Beans costs .99 while you pay 2.99 a pound for fresh ones. So the green beans in a can are taking to a factory, washed, cut, "preserved" with salt and processed into cans, labeled and shipped to the store for .99 a can. FRESH picked green beans that are picked washed and sent to market cost $2.99 a pound. So for the same 14oz of beans fresh you are paying $2.67. How is that?
During my journey to healthfulness I have began to read more and more labels on the food that allow my family to consume. It is scary how many chemicals the food companies are feeding the american population with out us ever really paying attention. Are we willing to sacrifice convenience for our health? Have we been bamboozled by the food companies and the FDA? Are we really that busy? It is time for America to wake up and start demanding healthful foods. I read an article today about a small raw food company that is being forced to destroy food cause the FDA deemed it unsafe even though the food has not been actually tested for pathogens. Family Farm Ordered to Destroy Food I am not a huge believer in conspiracies. But I do believe that we, the american public, have been led down the path about the safeness of the foods we are consuming.
I am not a doctor( and I don't play on TV) but I do know this, I can see a difference in the attitudes and moods of my family and myself. The less chemicals, sugar and garbage that we eat the happier and more energetic we become. Just removing sugar, HFC and chemical artificial sweeteners from our diet has almost completely eliminated tantrums from our lives. The nightly nightmares that Sofia has had for 6 months have quit, she has no more stomach problems and is finally sleeping through the night almost every night. We all seem more alert and able to focus on the things we do. We have more energy and are able to get more done in a day.
Lately I have seen many commercials about the "safeness and healthfulness" of High-Fructose Corn Syrup (HFC), which they are now calling "corn sugar". Yet there are studies out there that show that is very unsafe and not healthy. Why do we allow ourselves to be lead down the primrose path with these commercials? Drug companies, food companies, politicians have all figured out that the american public is gullible enough to believe the TV ads that they see during the thousands of hours of television that we watch. Have you watched Kids TV lately? They are bombarded with ad after ad for sugary cereals, candy, sugared beverages, and toys. Our young minds are being filled with the idea that these foods are healthy to eat. Is it any wonder that the obesity in this country is off the chart?
How do we, the american public, turn this around? Buying organic food is good but the cost is so high that during these tough economic times it is very difficult to do. Even if you buy fresh over processed it is expensive. Some how we have to reverse this and make it economical to buy fresh unprocessed foods. Each and everyone of us is capable of doing something. Everyone is capable of growing fresh fruit and veggies. Even if you don't have a plot of land. Even if you are living in an apartment. Almost all veggies and some fruits can be grown in pots, even bags of potting soil that you cut holes in and plant. It is sustainable, healthy and chemical free. If you have a small yard you can have a garden using the acclaimed square foot gardening method .
When I was growing up my mother was an avid gardener, canner, freezer, and all around homemaker. It was a lot of work and she managed to do it even when she was working full time. She made her own bread, jams, tomato sauce, and anything else you can imagine. When grandma was alive we got fresh milk and eggs. We grew up drinking raw milk and eating fresh churned butter. As a kid I used hate it. I swore that I would never do that when I was older... and for a long time I did not. I, like most people, lived on the convenience of the supermarket. I believe that the prepared foods that we have eaten for many years have led to my being overweight, among other things.
In the last month I have found myself moving away from the processed foods and to more healthy fresh foods; Growing, making and otherwise removing the chemicals from our diet. One day not too long ago I picked up a jar of mayo to read the label, WOW there are so many additives in store bought mayo that it will make your head spin. Mayo should really only be simple ingredients, eggs, oil, lemon juice and seasonings. It does need chemicals or sugar to make it. So why do they add all the crap to it? To increase the shelf life. Well I can make it at home and make it healthy. What about sausage? I was at the store looking for some sausage to buy. Did you know that almost all sausage has sugar and/or corn syrup added to it? I mean seriously why? It takes 5 minutes to grind up your own fresh pork and add a few seasonings to make sausage.
I think that if we all do a little to help change the food supply that we can make a huge difference for generations to come. I believe that if we start removing sugar, HFC, chemicals and preservatives from our national diet that we will see a drastic reduction in the murders, suicides and hate that have plagued this country for the last 40 years. It is time we stand up and demand that we have access to foods free of chemicals that is reasonably priced.
During my journey to healthfulness I have began to read more and more labels on the food that allow my family to consume. It is scary how many chemicals the food companies are feeding the american population with out us ever really paying attention. Are we willing to sacrifice convenience for our health? Have we been bamboozled by the food companies and the FDA? Are we really that busy? It is time for America to wake up and start demanding healthful foods. I read an article today about a small raw food company that is being forced to destroy food cause the FDA deemed it unsafe even though the food has not been actually tested for pathogens. Family Farm Ordered to Destroy Food I am not a huge believer in conspiracies. But I do believe that we, the american public, have been led down the path about the safeness of the foods we are consuming.
I am not a doctor( and I don't play on TV) but I do know this, I can see a difference in the attitudes and moods of my family and myself. The less chemicals, sugar and garbage that we eat the happier and more energetic we become. Just removing sugar, HFC and chemical artificial sweeteners from our diet has almost completely eliminated tantrums from our lives. The nightly nightmares that Sofia has had for 6 months have quit, she has no more stomach problems and is finally sleeping through the night almost every night. We all seem more alert and able to focus on the things we do. We have more energy and are able to get more done in a day.
Lately I have seen many commercials about the "safeness and healthfulness" of High-Fructose Corn Syrup (HFC), which they are now calling "corn sugar". Yet there are studies out there that show that is very unsafe and not healthy. Why do we allow ourselves to be lead down the primrose path with these commercials? Drug companies, food companies, politicians have all figured out that the american public is gullible enough to believe the TV ads that they see during the thousands of hours of television that we watch. Have you watched Kids TV lately? They are bombarded with ad after ad for sugary cereals, candy, sugared beverages, and toys. Our young minds are being filled with the idea that these foods are healthy to eat. Is it any wonder that the obesity in this country is off the chart?
How do we, the american public, turn this around? Buying organic food is good but the cost is so high that during these tough economic times it is very difficult to do. Even if you buy fresh over processed it is expensive. Some how we have to reverse this and make it economical to buy fresh unprocessed foods. Each and everyone of us is capable of doing something. Everyone is capable of growing fresh fruit and veggies. Even if you don't have a plot of land. Even if you are living in an apartment. Almost all veggies and some fruits can be grown in pots, even bags of potting soil that you cut holes in and plant. It is sustainable, healthy and chemical free. If you have a small yard you can have a garden using the acclaimed square foot gardening method .
When I was growing up my mother was an avid gardener, canner, freezer, and all around homemaker. It was a lot of work and she managed to do it even when she was working full time. She made her own bread, jams, tomato sauce, and anything else you can imagine. When grandma was alive we got fresh milk and eggs. We grew up drinking raw milk and eating fresh churned butter. As a kid I used hate it. I swore that I would never do that when I was older... and for a long time I did not. I, like most people, lived on the convenience of the supermarket. I believe that the prepared foods that we have eaten for many years have led to my being overweight, among other things.
In the last month I have found myself moving away from the processed foods and to more healthy fresh foods; Growing, making and otherwise removing the chemicals from our diet. One day not too long ago I picked up a jar of mayo to read the label, WOW there are so many additives in store bought mayo that it will make your head spin. Mayo should really only be simple ingredients, eggs, oil, lemon juice and seasonings. It does need chemicals or sugar to make it. So why do they add all the crap to it? To increase the shelf life. Well I can make it at home and make it healthy. What about sausage? I was at the store looking for some sausage to buy. Did you know that almost all sausage has sugar and/or corn syrup added to it? I mean seriously why? It takes 5 minutes to grind up your own fresh pork and add a few seasonings to make sausage.
I think that if we all do a little to help change the food supply that we can make a huge difference for generations to come. I believe that if we start removing sugar, HFC, chemicals and preservatives from our national diet that we will see a drastic reduction in the murders, suicides and hate that have plagued this country for the last 40 years. It is time we stand up and demand that we have access to foods free of chemicals that is reasonably priced.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
The journey continues
This is a journey like no other I have embarked on before. I feel more determination and resolve then times I have tried to walk this path in the past. I feel like I am unshakable. That is not to say that there have not been struggles and trails. I have a very bad habit of weighing everyday and expecting to see a loss everyday. I find myself feeling disappointed when this happens. It is difficult for me to keep going but I lift myself up and keep on walking.. I know I am on the right path. I have to get myself to stay off the scale everyday.
Today was different though. This morning I got on the scale and no change. I trudged off to work disappointed and more determined then ever. I got lost in my work today and forgot all about my earlier disappointment. I stayed on plan and ate what I was supposed to eat. I got home and needed to go run some errands. I needed to change my clothes before I went. Since most of clothes that "fit" me are in the wash from the weekend I had to dig in the closet for something to wear. The only casual clothes I had in there were a few pair of jeans that I have not been able to wear for over a year. They two sizes to small at the start of my journey. I thought quietly to myself... What the heck I will try them on. I was floored. Not only did they fit they fit very comfortably loose. So loose that I can even bend over in them and touch my toes... Incredible.
It did not end there... We went out for dinner tonight and we sat in a booth... Whoot! No tummy touching the table. I can not tell you how long it has been since my tummy did not touch the table in a booth.
So what I realized is that I am making big progress and it may not always show on the scale. I have to trust that if I keep doing the right things and eating the right things I will succeed. It is like the fire that burns inside of me was fanned tonight into an inferno. I feel unstoppable tonight...
And the journey continues...
Today was different though. This morning I got on the scale and no change. I trudged off to work disappointed and more determined then ever. I got lost in my work today and forgot all about my earlier disappointment. I stayed on plan and ate what I was supposed to eat. I got home and needed to go run some errands. I needed to change my clothes before I went. Since most of clothes that "fit" me are in the wash from the weekend I had to dig in the closet for something to wear. The only casual clothes I had in there were a few pair of jeans that I have not been able to wear for over a year. They two sizes to small at the start of my journey. I thought quietly to myself... What the heck I will try them on. I was floored. Not only did they fit they fit very comfortably loose. So loose that I can even bend over in them and touch my toes... Incredible.
It did not end there... We went out for dinner tonight and we sat in a booth... Whoot! No tummy touching the table. I can not tell you how long it has been since my tummy did not touch the table in a booth.
So what I realized is that I am making big progress and it may not always show on the scale. I have to trust that if I keep doing the right things and eating the right things I will succeed. It is like the fire that burns inside of me was fanned tonight into an inferno. I feel unstoppable tonight...
And the journey continues...
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Oh No Thanksgiving
As I was sitting here this morning drinking my coffee I realized that Thanksgiving is right around the corner. And then I recall a statement that my husband made a few days ago when we decided to take a road trip... " I am eating pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving". At the time I blew it off not really thinking about it. I think I made an off hand comment about have "Mock" mashed potatoes made out of cauliflower and went about my business.
For some reason this morning it dawned on my that pumpkin pie is not the only thing at Thanksgiving that is not on our new eating plan. Then my mind started racing... What am i going to do? How am I gong to survive this wicked holiday? I can't lose momentum... Then with another sip of coffee I relaxed and said to myself "Why not transform Thanksgiving into a healthy meal that everyone will love?" even those who are not following our new eating plan.
So in addition to all the other things I have to do. I have to come up with substitutes for pumpkin pie, stuffing, green bean casserole, rolls and much more... They have to be tasty enough so that you don't long for what used to be... I have some ideas and I am pretty sure I can do most of it. But what about doing something different then the normal thanksgiving fare. Do you think I will meet with much resistance? I have served the same Thanksgiving meal every year for the last 20 years and it is the same meal that I was served for the 20 years prior to that. It has never wavered.
I have little over 5 weeks to perfect the menu and get all the recipes lined up. This is going to be fun but a little challenging considering I have a wedding video to finish and a 3 year olds costume to finish also. But who needs sleep especially in the name of Thanksgiving.
~The journey continues...
For some reason this morning it dawned on my that pumpkin pie is not the only thing at Thanksgiving that is not on our new eating plan. Then my mind started racing... What am i going to do? How am I gong to survive this wicked holiday? I can't lose momentum... Then with another sip of coffee I relaxed and said to myself "Why not transform Thanksgiving into a healthy meal that everyone will love?" even those who are not following our new eating plan.
So in addition to all the other things I have to do. I have to come up with substitutes for pumpkin pie, stuffing, green bean casserole, rolls and much more... They have to be tasty enough so that you don't long for what used to be... I have some ideas and I am pretty sure I can do most of it. But what about doing something different then the normal thanksgiving fare. Do you think I will meet with much resistance? I have served the same Thanksgiving meal every year for the last 20 years and it is the same meal that I was served for the 20 years prior to that. It has never wavered.
I have little over 5 weeks to perfect the menu and get all the recipes lined up. This is going to be fun but a little challenging considering I have a wedding video to finish and a 3 year olds costume to finish also. But who needs sleep especially in the name of Thanksgiving.
~The journey continues...
Friday, October 1, 2010
Yummy "Oopsie" Pizza
Well I love my Oopsie Pizza... Oopsie Pizza Recipe Thanks to Jamie for her awesome blog that keeps us on the straight and narrow. Now that I got the correct incendiary credits done I can move on the awesomeness that is this pizza. One of the things about changing the way you eat to lose weight is that you have to find a way to eat that you can seriously live with the rest of your life. When you find that way you have to have a plethora of recipes that will keep the food lively and different. If you ever feel like you are deprived then you will lose hope and faith. Well we love pizza in our house. LOVE IT!
When I ran across this recipe on Jamies Blog I fell in love... I admit it took me a couple of weeks to try it... But oh my once I did ... It is soooo easy and yummy. 
These two pictures are of the crust pre-toppings. The one on the left is as it is baking in the oven and the one on the right is after I took it out... If you could only smell how yummy they smelled...
I have made this pizza a few times since the first time. Each time I am amazed at how quick and easy it is and how yummy it tastes. I made a canadian bacon one for Sofia and a yummy pepperoni and olives for Chuck and I...
Who could ask for anything more then yummy pizza on a diet! Can't wait to make some of Jamies yummy desserts.If you are interested in some awesome lower carb recipes please check out Jamies blog... Stay tuned as I work on some of my own favorite recipes.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Finally
Well I have not had much time this last week to post. Then this morning I got on the dreaded scale... I still don't have a lot of time but was so excited that I had to share.
I have been retaining water for a little over a week. It is so frustrating to get on the scale and not see any movement. I know that I am losing something since my clothes are starting fit a little different. Finally today I saw movment. Today I finally broke the 300lb mark. This is the first time I have been below 300 in four years. Maybe longer... I think the last time was before I got pregnant with Sofia. Today I weighed in at 299... Thats a total of 13 pounds down so far.
It has been a long journey to get to the place I am today. Determined, focused and dedicated. I have been working for three weeks now and here I am 13 pounds lighter. I am no where near the end of my journey but I am well on my way.
I have been retaining water for a little over a week. It is so frustrating to get on the scale and not see any movement. I know that I am losing something since my clothes are starting fit a little different. Finally today I saw movment. Today I finally broke the 300lb mark. This is the first time I have been below 300 in four years. Maybe longer... I think the last time was before I got pregnant with Sofia. Today I weighed in at 299... Thats a total of 13 pounds down so far.
It has been a long journey to get to the place I am today. Determined, focused and dedicated. I have been working for three weeks now and here I am 13 pounds lighter. I am no where near the end of my journey but I am well on my way.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Living off the Grid
Living off the grid... Not being dependent on commercial power, water, sewer, food. This is an idea I have toyed with for years. And up until recently it was just a pipe dream. Wind and Solar power were so expensive to get started that it would take decades to break even. But in these "Green" days those power sources are much more readily available and affordable. Maybe now is the time to see how feasible it is for our family.
We have enough land that we could raise chickens and goats pretty easy. Though not enough land to raise any cows. But chickens and goats would take care of eggs, milk and cheese. We can even raise some chickens for eating. We have a small garden now but will be doubling it next year and maybe even tripling it. I can raise all the veggies that we will need through the year. If I build a coldframe we can have greens a majority of the year. I would need to plant some fruit trees to give me the fruit we would need for the year. We are already on a well and septic.
I have spent years upon years canning and freezing fruits and veggies. I have even canned on a wood burning stove. I already have a HUGE stockpile of canning jars and two canners. We also own a commercial dehydrator and a smoker so dried and cured things would be no problem. I have a ton of storage for all the canned foods.
So you may be asking yourself "Why would anyone be considering this?". Well that answer is very complex and has many facets.
First and foremost, I believe that our society has become too dependent on commercial products. This has become very evident in the last few years with the substantial rise in disease in our country. I have already started removing as many processed foods I can. I have started making most things from scratch again so that I can control what goes in to my families food. I can grow just about everything that we eat.
Second I believe that this dependence has weakened this country to near the breaking point. If we don't start taking back our independence we will not survive this recession (nearing depression). Modern convenience has giving rise to a society that does not know what to do when they can't go buy what they want or need.
Third, Greed has taken over this country. Nuf said...
I still have some dilemmas to resolve. Cell phones, internet, Satellite TV...
While we won't be off the grid tomorrow... We are taking small steps to move toward being independent of the commercialization of this Great Country!
The journey continues...
We have enough land that we could raise chickens and goats pretty easy. Though not enough land to raise any cows. But chickens and goats would take care of eggs, milk and cheese. We can even raise some chickens for eating. We have a small garden now but will be doubling it next year and maybe even tripling it. I can raise all the veggies that we will need through the year. If I build a coldframe we can have greens a majority of the year. I would need to plant some fruit trees to give me the fruit we would need for the year. We are already on a well and septic.
I have spent years upon years canning and freezing fruits and veggies. I have even canned on a wood burning stove. I already have a HUGE stockpile of canning jars and two canners. We also own a commercial dehydrator and a smoker so dried and cured things would be no problem. I have a ton of storage for all the canned foods.
So you may be asking yourself "Why would anyone be considering this?". Well that answer is very complex and has many facets.
First and foremost, I believe that our society has become too dependent on commercial products. This has become very evident in the last few years with the substantial rise in disease in our country. I have already started removing as many processed foods I can. I have started making most things from scratch again so that I can control what goes in to my families food. I can grow just about everything that we eat.
Second I believe that this dependence has weakened this country to near the breaking point. If we don't start taking back our independence we will not survive this recession (nearing depression). Modern convenience has giving rise to a society that does not know what to do when they can't go buy what they want or need.
Third, Greed has taken over this country. Nuf said...
I still have some dilemmas to resolve. Cell phones, internet, Satellite TV...
While we won't be off the grid tomorrow... We are taking small steps to move toward being independent of the commercialization of this Great Country!
The journey continues...
Saturday, September 18, 2010
The Restaurant Trip
Last night was our first venture out to eat. It is always a challenge to eat out when you are working on healthy eating. With the need to go grocery shopping looming we ventured out last night and decided that we would eat something before we went. It took a while to decide where would have the best options. We finally decided on a restaurant and off we went. We had eating at this restaurant before and knew they had an awesome salad bar. Score!
We we arrived we were not disappointed at all... The salad bar was full of leafy greens, robust veggies and other yummy healthy stuff. We sat down and started perusing the menu. We had hit the jackpot. Lots of healthy choices for us. They had FIVE different veggie sides for your entree. Also the meals were not pre-planned... You got to choose your own sides. I picked a yummy top sirloin steak and Hubby picked a yummy chicken. I had grilled green beans and grilled asparagus. YUM! Hubby had steamed broccoli and grilled green beans. Did I mention that they had FANTASTIC kids meal choices as well. Sofia had grilled chicken, steamed broccoli and apples with a side of fries.
We both ordered the salad bar to go along with our meal. Great choice. I had a huge salad with lettuce, spinach, onions, tomatoes, mushrooms, zucchini, broccoli and topped with a little parmesan cheese and some dressing. It was very filling, I only managed to eat half my steak and veggies.
The best part was when went grocery shopping we were not hungry and were able to get only what we needed. It was a successful outing!
The journey continues...
We we arrived we were not disappointed at all... The salad bar was full of leafy greens, robust veggies and other yummy healthy stuff. We sat down and started perusing the menu. We had hit the jackpot. Lots of healthy choices for us. They had FIVE different veggie sides for your entree. Also the meals were not pre-planned... You got to choose your own sides. I picked a yummy top sirloin steak and Hubby picked a yummy chicken. I had grilled green beans and grilled asparagus. YUM! Hubby had steamed broccoli and grilled green beans. Did I mention that they had FANTASTIC kids meal choices as well. Sofia had grilled chicken, steamed broccoli and apples with a side of fries.
We both ordered the salad bar to go along with our meal. Great choice. I had a huge salad with lettuce, spinach, onions, tomatoes, mushrooms, zucchini, broccoli and topped with a little parmesan cheese and some dressing. It was very filling, I only managed to eat half my steak and veggies.
The best part was when went grocery shopping we were not hungry and were able to get only what we needed. It was a successful outing!
The journey continues...
Week 1
Wow a week went by uber fast. It was surprisingly easy to stay on plan this week. Thanks in huge part to my wonderful hubby who made my lunch for me this week. I would not have survived if he had not. Thanks Babe, Love you!.. But I digress...
This week I ate lean meats, lots of leafy greens, red ripe tomatoes, cool cucumbers, and many other veggies. I drank copious amounts of water. I feel great and have tons of energy. (I am talking energizer bunny here.. I keep going and going and going...)When I go on the scale yesterday I had managed to let go of 6 lbs. Bringing me down to 301. That is great. The best part is I do not feel deprived. I have zero cravings for anything (except coffee but that is more of a comfort for me then a craving). I actually feel like I can do this forever.
Every night I sit and reflect on the days activities. I have found that I am calmer and can think clearer. The stress of work is not throwing me into an eating tizzy. This week I will be working toward figuring out ways to eat when I am in situations that don't present health choices. The end of next will be my test. Oh yea and the fair tomorrow... We shall see.
The journey continues.....
This week I ate lean meats, lots of leafy greens, red ripe tomatoes, cool cucumbers, and many other veggies. I drank copious amounts of water. I feel great and have tons of energy. (I am talking energizer bunny here.. I keep going and going and going...)When I go on the scale yesterday I had managed to let go of 6 lbs. Bringing me down to 301. That is great. The best part is I do not feel deprived. I have zero cravings for anything (except coffee but that is more of a comfort for me then a craving). I actually feel like I can do this forever.
Every night I sit and reflect on the days activities. I have found that I am calmer and can think clearer. The stress of work is not throwing me into an eating tizzy. This week I will be working toward figuring out ways to eat when I am in situations that don't present health choices. The end of next will be my test. Oh yea and the fair tomorrow... We shall see.
The journey continues.....
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Purging
Today I set out to purge and organize my "craft" closet. I have opened the door and closed it many times in the last few weeks, not knowing really where to start going through crap. I really have not had the energy to face the crap closet. Today seemed different. Despite having little sleep last night I feel like the energizer bunny.
This journey is about lighting my load. The load I carry on my body, The load I carry on my mind, and The load I carry around me. It seems fitting that I start with the craft closet. It is one of those forgotten places of late (at least the last three years). I mean who has time to do crafts with work, house work, and a toddler. It is something I miss terribly but with everything in disarray I can't get in and get anything done in the short amount of time that I have. The time has come to purge the stuff that is broken, not needed, dried up and even ripped.
We trekked off to Home Depot and bought copious amounts of organizing containers. And home I marched. I opened the door and sighed. Where to begin... Well I pulled in a large garbage can and just started tossing the things I could see that were broken or ripped. It is funny, once I got started I got into this Zen like place. It all seemed ok and easy. I felt like a gazelle gliding through the meadow as I plowed through the piles and mounds of crap in the closet. I felt focused and determined to not put any crap back in the closet that I did not need. It was an amazing feeling, one I hope to feel as I continue my journey to lighten the load of my body.
As I finished making labels for all the neatly stacked plastic containers, I stood back and looked with sheer joy at the beautiful sight of the organized closet. I could breathe again. I stood there for a moment and imagined that day I look in the mirror and see that I have reached my goal weight. I imagine that I will feel the same since of ease. That I will be able to breathe freely with out the burden of carrying so much weight around. In that moment I saw myself with the body I want.
In a box today I found a letter I had written to my husband many years ago while I was away. It reminded me of how precious our life is. We have been through so much in our years together and here we stand strong. I now have started a new journey and he has willing joined me on the path. We will keep taking steps in the direction of our dreams and we will get there together. Wish his love and support I have survived some of the toughest times.
The journey continues...
This journey is about lighting my load. The load I carry on my body, The load I carry on my mind, and The load I carry around me. It seems fitting that I start with the craft closet. It is one of those forgotten places of late (at least the last three years). I mean who has time to do crafts with work, house work, and a toddler. It is something I miss terribly but with everything in disarray I can't get in and get anything done in the short amount of time that I have. The time has come to purge the stuff that is broken, not needed, dried up and even ripped.
We trekked off to Home Depot and bought copious amounts of organizing containers. And home I marched. I opened the door and sighed. Where to begin... Well I pulled in a large garbage can and just started tossing the things I could see that were broken or ripped. It is funny, once I got started I got into this Zen like place. It all seemed ok and easy. I felt like a gazelle gliding through the meadow as I plowed through the piles and mounds of crap in the closet. I felt focused and determined to not put any crap back in the closet that I did not need. It was an amazing feeling, one I hope to feel as I continue my journey to lighten the load of my body.
As I finished making labels for all the neatly stacked plastic containers, I stood back and looked with sheer joy at the beautiful sight of the organized closet. I could breathe again. I stood there for a moment and imagined that day I look in the mirror and see that I have reached my goal weight. I imagine that I will feel the same since of ease. That I will be able to breathe freely with out the burden of carrying so much weight around. In that moment I saw myself with the body I want.
In a box today I found a letter I had written to my husband many years ago while I was away. It reminded me of how precious our life is. We have been through so much in our years together and here we stand strong. I now have started a new journey and he has willing joined me on the path. We will keep taking steps in the direction of our dreams and we will get there together. Wish his love and support I have survived some of the toughest times.
The journey continues...
Saturday, September 11, 2010
What is Hunger? Really
I am not sure I have ever felt true hunger... At least in the food department. I am not sure that I have ever allowed myself to be truly hungry. How does one recognize hunger? I am not sure I know. For years I have been slaved to the clock for meals. Breakfast by 8, Lunch by Noon and Dinner by 6. A snack here and there when I felt the need for it. A need is rarely hunger, more often it is cause of stress, sadness, happiness, or maybe sleep depravation.
As I have looked back over the last 41 years I can not think of a time that I have "felt" hunger. I know I have said I am hungry many times but as I think about it the always has come from my head never my stomach... Somedays I go hours with out eating only to get light in the head and feel like I am going to pass out. Is that hunger?
As part of my journey I have been learning to be mindful when I eat. I have been trying to listen to my body when it tells me it needs food (before the passing out part). It has been very difficult to determine if I am really hungry because my body needs nourishment or because my head says it is time to eat. I wonder if my stomach should be grumbly. Am I just thirsty? I have not listened to my bodies needs for so long I wonder if it has stopped speaking to me about it.
As I sit here to night on the eve of m y 4th day of my journey I am very mindful of how my body feels at this moment. Content. I have a plethora of energy. I have no cravings (except for my coffee goodness, which by the way, I have had to have a cup or two to manage the severe headaches). Even though I can sit here now and be mindful I have struggled today with hunger. Although I did not eat by the clock today (a huge step) I did find myself reaching a point where I was wanting to snack. Is this hunger? Those are dangerous times for me because I will graze till the cows come home (no pun intended here).
This morning I was getting Sofia here morning bowl of dry cherrios and I caught myself putting some in mouth. Not being mindful. Later I was making her lunch and I caught myself testing her baked potatoes. not being mindful. Putting food in my mouth is so automatic that I am sure I have not known half the stuff I have eaten. I was not hungry when I mindlessly put those things in my mouth.
I will continue my journey ... I will walk the path toward being mindful about food. I will continue to seek the feeling of true hunger.
As I have looked back over the last 41 years I can not think of a time that I have "felt" hunger. I know I have said I am hungry many times but as I think about it the always has come from my head never my stomach... Somedays I go hours with out eating only to get light in the head and feel like I am going to pass out. Is that hunger?
As part of my journey I have been learning to be mindful when I eat. I have been trying to listen to my body when it tells me it needs food (before the passing out part). It has been very difficult to determine if I am really hungry because my body needs nourishment or because my head says it is time to eat. I wonder if my stomach should be grumbly. Am I just thirsty? I have not listened to my bodies needs for so long I wonder if it has stopped speaking to me about it.
As I sit here to night on the eve of m y 4th day of my journey I am very mindful of how my body feels at this moment. Content. I have a plethora of energy. I have no cravings (except for my coffee goodness, which by the way, I have had to have a cup or two to manage the severe headaches). Even though I can sit here now and be mindful I have struggled today with hunger. Although I did not eat by the clock today (a huge step) I did find myself reaching a point where I was wanting to snack. Is this hunger? Those are dangerous times for me because I will graze till the cows come home (no pun intended here).
This morning I was getting Sofia here morning bowl of dry cherrios and I caught myself putting some in mouth. Not being mindful. Later I was making her lunch and I caught myself testing her baked potatoes. not being mindful. Putting food in my mouth is so automatic that I am sure I have not known half the stuff I have eaten. I was not hungry when I mindlessly put those things in my mouth.
I will continue my journey ... I will walk the path toward being mindful about food. I will continue to seek the feeling of true hunger.
Back to work
Well yesterday was my first day back to work since I began my journey. Work is always tough for me because I never seem to have time to eat. Yesterday I had to make a conscious effort to remember to eat. It is interesting how much better I feel when I eat at work. I don't come home and ravage the refrigerator. I am able to stay more focused.
The second challenge I have with work is making my lunch before I go to work. I have to find a way to make it easy to take a lunch everyday. I like having it already made and ready to go cause mornings come very early. I used to keep food in my little refrigerator at work so I always have something to eat. As of late that has not been working to well for me. The food usually goes bad before I can eat it. I think the best bet is to get lunch ready before I go to bed the night before.
But what about breakfast. Sleep is a precious commodity around this house these days and sometimes hard to come by. So I eek out every minute I can. Some mornings (ok almost every) I forgo breakfast to sleep a few more minutes. I have never been a huge breakfast person anyway so it is really easy for me to give it up. Something I can make and take on the road is the best I think. It has to be quick and easy, 5 minutes or less. I will have to work on that the next two days before I go back to work to find something that fits the bill.
Overall I think work went well and I feel so much better already.
The second challenge I have with work is making my lunch before I go to work. I have to find a way to make it easy to take a lunch everyday. I like having it already made and ready to go cause mornings come very early. I used to keep food in my little refrigerator at work so I always have something to eat. As of late that has not been working to well for me. The food usually goes bad before I can eat it. I think the best bet is to get lunch ready before I go to bed the night before.
But what about breakfast. Sleep is a precious commodity around this house these days and sometimes hard to come by. So I eek out every minute I can. Some mornings (ok almost every) I forgo breakfast to sleep a few more minutes. I have never been a huge breakfast person anyway so it is really easy for me to give it up. Something I can make and take on the road is the best I think. It has to be quick and easy, 5 minutes or less. I will have to work on that the next two days before I go back to work to find something that fits the bill.
Overall I think work went well and I feel so much better already.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Carmel Brown Warm Goodness
Ahh Coffee how I miss you. It has only been three days but I miss you so. Your inviting smell, warm touch, carmel brown color, and fantastic friendship. My days with out you have been filled with headaches and sleepiness. To sip in your goodness would sooth my inner being. I miss your exquisite taste in the morning. I miss your companionship in the morning as I read the news. I miss you after dinner as I am relaxing on the couch.
I wish that I could have just one cup of you and be satisfied but it never works out that way. You call to me when I walk into the kitchen or drive by Starbucks. Sorry coffee but sadly we have to part ways.
I wish that I could have just one cup of you and be satisfied but it never works out that way. You call to me when I walk into the kitchen or drive by Starbucks. Sorry coffee but sadly we have to part ways.
Mmmmmmm Good!
So then I wonder why I find myself wandering to the kitchen and standing there with the refrigerator door open. I am not hungry, not even having a craving for anything... But there I am standing with the door open.
As I pause for a moment I ask myself what I am doing. Why are you looking for food? I am not bored, unhappy or upset. Is it a conditioned "unconscious" action??? I use the term unconscious because I was not consciously seeking food. How often have I done this in the past and actually taken something out and eaten even though I was not hungry? I am sure this is not the first time... I ask "What do you do to stop this unconscious behavior?"
I guess recognizing it is the first step. So does that mean I will always catch myself before I eat something with out thinking about it? I don't know. One of the hardest things for me is going to be recognizing when I am truly hungry. I think that before I eat anything for a while I will have to evaluate how I am feeling and what I am thinking. Part of this journey is to learn to be present when I am eating and drinking. To conscious of what and how much I am putting in my mouth.
As my head clears these next few weeks I am sure there will be more of these Ah Ha moments. Things that I have not thought of or realized before. I have kept food journals for months now, however I have failed to stop and take stock of when, what or how I was eating. This is a big step in the right direction.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step... Well I am on my way!
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
The Beginning
As I sit here writing this I am starting a new chapter in my life. A chapter in a book that I have tried to write many many times before. Unlike other times I have started to write this chapter I have finally reached the point where it is no longer a should but a MUST. I realized about a week ago how horrible I feel all the time. Run down and no energy. I spent some time and took a good long look in the mirror and really did not like what I saw.
As I studied myself in the mirror and really looked at how fat I had become I wondered if that is what others see when they look at me. I have decided that I can not live like this any longer. So here is the beginning of the rest of my life. It reminds of one of my favorite songs... Unwritten "Drench yourself in words unspoken, Live your life with arms wide open, To the years where your book begins, The rest is still unwritten" The rest of my life is unwritten and I intend to live a LONG and HEALTHY life.
So in effort to be full on real I will be laying out my progress here. But in order to have progress you have to have a starting point. My starting point is today and I currently weigh 307 pounds. My goal is to weigh 150 pounds when I am all done. More over I want to be able to run with Sofia. I want to be able to jump. I want to be able to get down on the ground and be able to get back up easily. I want to be able to go hiking. I want to be able to ride the rides at Disneyland with her. I want to live to see her graduate, get married, have kids and be happy!
There are many many things I have to work on but one of the biggest things I have to do is be honest and accountable to myself. I will post weekly my new weight up or down. As embarrassed and humiliated as I am by how much I weigh now, I am equally determined to successfully live my life healthy and happy.
This is not a going to be a short journey. This journey will last a lifetime.
As I studied myself in the mirror and really looked at how fat I had become I wondered if that is what others see when they look at me. I have decided that I can not live like this any longer. So here is the beginning of the rest of my life. It reminds of one of my favorite songs... Unwritten "Drench yourself in words unspoken, Live your life with arms wide open, To the years where your book begins, The rest is still unwritten" The rest of my life is unwritten and I intend to live a LONG and HEALTHY life.
So in effort to be full on real I will be laying out my progress here. But in order to have progress you have to have a starting point. My starting point is today and I currently weigh 307 pounds. My goal is to weigh 150 pounds when I am all done. More over I want to be able to run with Sofia. I want to be able to jump. I want to be able to get down on the ground and be able to get back up easily. I want to be able to go hiking. I want to be able to ride the rides at Disneyland with her. I want to live to see her graduate, get married, have kids and be happy!
There are many many things I have to work on but one of the biggest things I have to do is be honest and accountable to myself. I will post weekly my new weight up or down. As embarrassed and humiliated as I am by how much I weigh now, I am equally determined to successfully live my life healthy and happy.
This is not a going to be a short journey. This journey will last a lifetime.
Shopping Healthy
A shopping we will go... A shopping we will go... Hi Ho the farmers must be getting the dough! I am baffled at how an unadulterated veggie or fruit can cost so much more then the over processed, sugar laden, sodium filled crap in the can. You mean to tell me that it costs that much more to grow, pick and sell the veggies FRESH then it does to grow, pick, process, add crap and can the veggies? How is that possible?
I went to the grocery store today to stock up on the fresh fruits and veggies for my journey and was appalled at the costs. When you walk down the canned food aisle and can buy any canned veggie or fruit for half the cost it is no wonder that we feed our children that crap. We need to stand up and show the food industry that we want healthy food and not the processed garbage they tell us is SO good for us.
As I read the labels of the food I buy I wonder how the american public got so baffled by the Food Industry that we believe that Enriched is a good thing. That food that is processed over and over again is healthful. I mean that all the food additives are better for us then the foods that are grown and eaten whole and fresh.
I have been reading labels for a while now and I often wonder if all these chemicals in our food have contributed to the rise in Diabetes, Cancer, Heart Disease and other incendiary aliments.
Since before Sofia was born I have been conscious of the chemicals in food. I have carefully picked food for her that is healthful, organic and fresh as can be. Now it is time for Me! Soon the whole family will be eating fresh healthful organic foods and we all be healthy.
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